January 2010
22 posts
My mother told me
Today I had a nice three hour long argument with my mom over my attitude and the direction my future was headed. It wasn’t one of those typical I hate you debates but more of a “here’s what you ain’t doing” kind of talks. Being the stubborn guy that I am I would never admit to my mom that she’s right nor listen to the advice she offers I could not help but see...
“The great tragedy of life is not that men parish, but that they cease to love.”
– W Somerset Maugham
Alien in disguise
Sometimes I feel like I’ve crashed landed on a planet that doesn’t belong to me dealing with people and situations that I never knew could even be my “parents” tried to prepare me for all this world has to offer yet their warnings couldn’t imagine all that I was in for trying my best to be the somebody that these people need jokes on me I live in a world of want and I...
Longest Day
Today was the longest day I’ve had in a long time. Things went from good, to bad, to just plain depressing and hopeless. So many things to take in and so many things left unsaid. I couldn’t speak to my mom like I hoped to and I ended up making a promise to someone that I now know I can’t keep. Today was horrible and I wish it didn’t happen. People all over the world have...
Hiding truth
I never thought about being honest when I was younger. I always associated good fortune with honesty and vice versa for dishonesty but I can clearly see how naive I was by the way things work out in reality. Most people spend their whole lives lying to one another and living perfectly content in this false haven they have provided themselves. However I’ve seem to chosen hell instead of a...
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Weakness is strength
In the fears and flaws that reside inside every human being there is but one lesson we can all pull from it. That concept that being weak is a sign of strength. To be hurt is to be invulnerable. To feel hopeless is to have faith. This concept may be a bit bewildering and I don’t blame you I had trouble understanding it too. Still I stand by what I say and by what I write to you. Understand...
Monologue from 500 Days of Summer
TOM: That’s cause we’re liars! It’s what we do here. Why don’t we level with people? Stop feeding them nonsense?
CO-WORKER (RHODA): We’re a greeting card company.
TOM: Yes but think about it! Why do people buy these things? Not to say how they feel. There’s paper and pens for that. People give these cards when they can’t say how they feel. Or they’re afraid to. And we provide the service that lets ‘em get away with that! I say to hell with it! Let’s level with America. Or at least make them speak for themselves! I mean, seriously, what’s this... (picks a card off the table) “Congratulations on your new baby.” Eh... How bout... “Congratulations on your new baby... Guess that’s it for hanging out. Nice knowing ya, buddy.”
VANCE: Hansen, sit down!
TOM: (picks up a card) Wait, what’s this? Ooh... fancy! Look at this one with all the hearts. Let’s open it up. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Sweetheart. I love you.” Oh that’s nice.
MCKENZIE: Tom...
TOM: If someone gave me this card, Mr. Vance... I would eat it.
MCKENZIE: Tom!
TOM: (pause) It’s these greeting cards, Sir, these cards, these movies, these pop songs. They’re responsible for all the lies, the heartache, everything! We’re responsible! I think we do a bad thing here. People should be able to say how they feel, how they really feel, without some strangers putting words in their mouths. The truth. A card is a nice thought but it shouldn’t do the dirty work for you. You love someone, tell them yourself, in your own words. Maybe it’s not love at all. Maybe there’s no such thing as love.
(Tom gets up and walks to the door.)
TOM: It’s all crap. We make and peddle crap. And sometimes people believe in this crap. I just can’t do it anymore, Mr. Vance. There’s enough bullshit in the world without my help. I quit.
“From now on if I have something to say, I just won’t say it. That’s...”
Nocturnal Sun
The only star that never goes dim the beacon beside me when times looked grim. A star and a sun that all can admire the one thing that all men seem to desire But more than a star a woman in fact the opening and closing of this spectacular act and with that comes all of the drama from jealous boys to an even madder momma but yet despite this the star still shines bright forcing away the...
Friend Box
There is a little place I like to call the friend box where aspiring friends are placed and chained with locks. This is where I currently reside cause once again I’ve been denied. It the place where those who want to be more are kept those who create it won’t admit to their feelings they won’t accept. The box is small, depressing, and square and for me to be kept in there...
“Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard.”
– Anonymous
It all makes sense
At first I couldn’t fathom why I couldn’t get a girlfriend, but then when I realized I was ready “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” while she’s reading “How to make decorations from junk” it all made sense.
I am a dork
When you're down
Okay I was talking to my friends and had a good laugh at how fucked up we were when we were depressed. We all reacted in different ways all of which are pretty depressing and sad but to us hilarious to look back at and be like, “That was me?” or “I can’t believe I was that bad!” I compiled them into a list based off me and my friends.
Keep in mind we actually did and...
“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head,...”
– Lao Tzu
!st Love
Recently I’ve been looking back at times come and gone. You know happier times.
I remember it down to every detail. The first time we held hands. Our song. The first time we kissed. Our crazy adventures. The first time I told her I love her. The first time she said it back. Now nothing but memories I carry with me as I attempt to recreate that high I felt, but with someone else.
Things...
AIM IM with psychocdeath1/20/10 10:57 PM
Darnell Murphy: hey bitch
Darnell Murphy: i made a tumblr
Darnell Murphy: follow me
psychocdeath: lmfao
psychocdeath: i dont do gay shit like Have A online dairy
Darnell Murphy: it's cause nobody gives a shit about your life
Darnell Murphy: jk jk jk jk
Darnell Murphy: slightly
Only If You Let Them
Every time we open our eyes we enter into another day filled with new lessons and trails to overcome. In these given days we are confronted with choices that affect not only ourselves as an individual but ourselves as a part of something far greater. In these choices we define ourselves. We define our moral code. We define our personality. We define what it is that drives us. As we come to...
“The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.”
– Mother Teresa
Ramblings on "good'
To my knowledge I am many things but good is not one of them. I have spent majority of my life chasing this ideal of “good” in order to become a “good guy” but little did I know this is something that can never be understood. It’s not as simple as being faithful and being honest. Being a good guy is an ideal that encompasses everything every person of every gender,...