March 2011
“”I think of this radiant girl being swept away by some handsome pretentious poet and it crushes me. She can never like me. Unless I decide to radically change every detail of my personality, I’m going to die a virgin”
—Nick Twisp, Youth In Revolt.
February 2011
Lovely Day
Billy Withers
When I wake up in the morning love…
Platonic
- Me: Oh I'm hanging out with her monday
- Ramon: Oh *winks* I get it
- Me: No dude strictly platonic
- Ramon: You don't believe in platonic. Only platonic you believe in is in your drink.
- Me: *facepalm*
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look at this fucking seagull
like a boss
oh seagull, you legendary mother fucker
I think I met his cousin in an airport he followed me until I have him a dorito.
and not a single fuck was given that day. Praise the seagull!
Buncha baby ducks, send 'em to the moon.
Soda machine that doesn’t work, send it to the moon.
“You see, Doctor, God didn’t kill that little girl. Fate didn’t butcher her and destiny didn’t feed her to those dogs. If God saw what any of us did that night he didn’t seem to mind. From then on I knew… God doesn’t make the world this way. We do.”
—Rorschach (via tukkasotka)
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“Jesus waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn’t have even heard he died. They’d be all, “Hey Jesus, what up?” and Jesus would probably be like, “What up? I died yesterday!” and they’d be all, “Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude…” and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude’d be like “Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro…” And he’s not gonna come back on a Saturday. Everybody’s busy, doing chores, workin’ the loom, trimmin’ the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, three. Plus it’s Sunday, so everyone’s in church already, and they’re all in there like “Oh no, Jesus is dead”, and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin’ up the aisle, everyone’s totally psyched, and FYI, that’s when he invented the high five. That’s why we wait three days to call a woman, because that’s how long Jesus wants us to wait…. True story.” -Barney Stinson
